Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wannas sexs uuuuu
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Actions speak louder than pants.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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