So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize