Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
