I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize