We're facebook friends in real life
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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