the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i believe in u and ur pee
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
