if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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