i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
