my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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