Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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