At least make sure they are 18
Why
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
