The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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