...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
