he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
