He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
