Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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