I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You ruined the universe
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
