they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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