Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
