Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize