hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
