I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
