so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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