come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
