I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
