So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She announced her abortion via fbk
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
