Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
