and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
