that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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