I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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