How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
