just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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