I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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