piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
