I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
