Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
