Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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