I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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