I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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