Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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