I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize