There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize