we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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