Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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