Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
