Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
