He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
