I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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