so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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