omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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