I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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