He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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