Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
