Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
