we're blogging at a bar
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
