Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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