guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
