So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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