It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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